When your child is THAT child

Little Owl was a very easy baby.  She didn't mind where I took her or when, she didn't mind crowds and fireworks, and equally would sit quietly during a church service.  I could walk out of the room at a playgroup and she wouldn't mind, I could take her for lunch and she would sit there for hours.  Hell, I even flew to India with her on my own!

But Little Owl isn't a baby any more.  Little Owl is a two year old.  At first that was fine, but something happened when she turned two-and-a-quarter. It was almost a Kevin the teenager moment, her going to bed one night all sweetness and light, waking up the next morning this fireball of energy!

Little Owl favourite thing to do now is to play with her friends.  The trouble is, they aren't always so excited.  They don't always want kisses, or hugs.  Little Owl doesn't understand this and a hug with a toddler who is trying to get away can result in them both wrestling on the floor.  A subtle turning of the head to avoid a kiss is no challenge for Little Owl who merely grabs the child by both ears enforcing a head turn until the kiss is achieved.  Little Owl's attempt to get a child to play with her on the swings could look to an outsider (or the other child's parent) that she just pushed them over.

Is my child now that child?  Is my child the one that other children don't want to play with?  Is my child the child that other parents don't want near their children?  Am I about to discover that my new found mummy friends, aren't going to stick about?  Am I going to miss out on seeing them because of they don't want my child there?

I'm usually a quite confident person, but Little Owl's behaviour is making me feel very vulnerable.  If I feel like this, then how do less confident mums feel?  Those who's children are perhaps deliberately hurting other children?

I have tried telling Little Owl off.  It doesn't really work.  She doesn't understand.  She is just having fun.  Sometimes I wonder if I am just saying the words to appease the other parent.  The parent of the toddler who is now crying... And suddenly I'm all insecure again.  What if my friends don't approve of how I am parenting Little Owl?  What if on their secret meet ups they all sit round discussing how terrible Little Owl is and how its all my fault for being a bad parent?

I know some people might read this and say "well they can't really be your friend if they treat you like that" but would you really choose to hang around with someone if you knew their kid was going to make your child cry?

My cheeky monkey!

And how can I stop Little Owl's behaviour?  Helicopter parenting has never been my style, but maybe I should start to prevent others kids getting hurt until Little Owl is past this phase?  I think mixing with bigger kids might help, but apart from sending her to nursery or playgroup, I'm not really sure where to find bigger kids!  And while nursery and/or playgroup are on the cards, I almost feel like this needs sorting first.  She is my child.  Her behaviour is my responsibility.  I can't pass that on to someone else.  I know many do.  I teach their children when they get to secondary school and its hard.  

So while I try to cling on to my friends, old and new, and try to prevent Little Owl from hurting anyone too bad, I have come up with a simple rule that Little Owl does understand: "no touching"

Now someone get me a gin and tonic and make it a large one!